Day 17- Feeling Blue but not feeling sick

I am feeling good over all. Last night I just got so emotional. It was terrible. I could not believe that how scared I was feeling. I was having all of these thoughts. I was not feeling right at all. I could not get the feeling of dying out of my mind. It was terrible and I felt so lost. I am not ready for all this. It was so overwhelming for me. I don’t know what was wrong. I seemed to have been so lost. Where is my direction? How can I be so strong and then the next minute I am falling apart. I don’t know it was like a roller coaster. I guess I am mentally tired. Why did I not feel in control? Sorry for losing my strength. Why was I not leaning on God? Where was he?

Today Monia and Mike made me organic whole wheat blueberry pancakes and hard boiled eggs. It was a nice treat. I also got another hair cut. I am down to few days of hair. It is weird but the medicine is in my body. So 2 weeks to the day my hair is falling. I am a happy hat wearer. I am not much for the thinner hair. It is way different look for me. I think I might bring out the wigs this week:)

Last week until it is time to go for this again. Thanks again for every ones help, support and continuing prayers.

Cindy
Pray for a sign